Spidurmunkey


Twilight Jokes
July 14, 2008, 11:22 am
Filed under: Contests, News, Random News, Twilight Updates | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

One of my friends sent me tons of funny Twilight icons with little jokes. Here are a few that I found hillarious.

Edward Cullen knows all your inside jokes.

Jasper Hale will never be a therapist. He already knows how that makes you feel.

Edward Cullen doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

Breaking Dawn Prediction #13: Bella will rape Edward.

Dear Jacob. I win. Sincerely, Edward.

Haha. Those are just a few of my favorites. Have any good ones? Leave a comment with your favorites. Maybe sometime I’ll have a contest for it.

20 Comments

20 Comments so far
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im playing an 108 year old virgin!

jacob just glared at the kids dressed as vampires,he new it was wrong but he still lied and said there was no candy left!

dude i dazzle myself

Comment by kate December 1, 2008 @ 4:32 pm

One of the few thing Alice can’t see is Chuck Norris about to roundhouse kick her.

Jasper is sexy, too sexy for his shirt, so sexy that it hurts, that’s why he always looks like he’s in pain.

The Volturi went into hiding when they heard Chuck Norris DOES exist.

Comment by 13tailed December 30, 2008 @ 1:24 pm

You have to luv a guy that would piss off the volturi just for you

thankx stephenie. now i’ll never find a man.

hello my name is edward cullens girlfriend

Comment by Sisi December 30, 2008 @ 2:27 pm

What do Edward Cullen and a Christmas Tree have in common??
Their balls are just for decoration.

Comment by Kira January 2, 2009 @ 12:06 pm

HAHA those are awesome i just want more so i can do them as my signature on my email ummm oh heres one
Dear Jacob
its me edward I WIN HAHA SUCK IT WEREWOLF
Love,
Edward

oh and what do edward and a christmas tree have in common?
there balls are for decoration! HAHA OH i LOVE robert!!!!!

Comment by Bella January 7, 2009 @ 10:43 pm

edward and bella were sitting on a bench edward leaned over and kissed bella she fainted he looked up at everyone including charlie and edwards family and said “im sexy”
HAHA its an inside joke CHLOE WUZ HERE AND SHE A KARATE KID!

Comment by who ever i feel like January 7, 2009 @ 10:48 pm

Dear Diary,
Today i made Carlisle feel like he was in love with Edward… AGAIN!!
LOL

later,
Jasper

Comment by amanda January 12, 2009 @ 3:55 pm

Jacob got ran over by a reindeer walking home from Bella’s on Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as Santa, but Edward and me belive.
lols

Comment by Fayeber (: January 16, 2009 @ 2:12 pm

hey thesee jokes r haha-lirous!

Comment by Anonymous January 17, 2009 @ 12:56 am

dear dairy,

Bella raped me today on esme isle. im scared!

Later Edward

Comment by impy penguin January 20, 2009 @ 7:46 pm

Haha you guys are awsome LOL here’s some
1. Well, you know how alive is my favorite sister, I saw her in jaspers mind last night and he attacked me for my “emotions”!what a loser he should have known I was picturing Jacob,BELLA! I meant. Bella!
Thanks diary!
-Edward

Sorry I know that one was kinda gay

2. Screw bedroom eyes, I want vampire eyes!
3. Hale yes I’m a jasper fan!
4. Do vampires take showers, I’m seriously wondering?
5. Girls obsess over Edward too– OMEC ITS A FREAKING VOLVO!!!
6. Dammit bella, I got dibs on the next sparkling vampire, k?
7. Yeah I should so be scared of an albino old guy who sparkles? You gotta be freaking kidding me!?

My jokes are suckish I know, but I tried! Huge twilight fan!!!!!

Comment by Katie rich January 22, 2009 @ 10:55 pm

Dear Diary

I would like to La push Jacob of a cliff,

love Edward

Comment by Izzy January 27, 2009 @ 5:18 pm

emmett stood across the volvo from edwar and screamed DAM IT EDWARD STOP DAZZELING ME!!!!

Comment by jess nd megan February 1, 2009 @ 12:28 pm

edward read jacobs mind

dirty boy!!

Comment by jess nd megan February 1, 2009 @ 12:29 pm

where do the Cullens go for an all day buffet?
……………..
the zoo!!!!!!!!!!!!

you know what sucks ………. vampires!!! lmao

Comment by melissa February 3, 2009 @ 4:06 pm

i went to la push washingtona and all i got was this stupid imprint

Comment by roadiegirl February 5, 2009 @ 9:38 pm

haha! they’re all hilarious, except, well, the not funny ones.check out this website, its hilarious! they’re all pro edward, but some are anti jacob

http://www.polyvore.com/twilight_jokes/collection?id=116136

How do you stop Jacob Black from attacking you?
You pick up a stick, throw it and yell ‘fetch’!

Rosalie Hale was told to find something just as or more beautiful then herself.
She came back with a mirror…

How many Twilighters does it take to screw on a light bulb?
I don’t know, they’re all too busy fighting over who gets to be Mrs Cullen

Twilight is like watching a soccer match.. young people running around.. lots of heavy breathing.. and nobody scores!!!

renesmee, jacop made out with your mom. . . . twice.

aneyway they’re are my jokes!

Comment by caitlin October 18, 2010 @ 4:06 pm

What do Edward Cullen and a Christmas Tree have in common??
Their balls are just for decoration

ROFLMAO!

Comment by Anti-Twilight November 2, 2010 @ 1:15 pm

Bella: Edward i know what u are your cold and never go ou in the sunlight Edward: Say it! Outloud! Bella: Your obviously a snowman 😉

Comment by Jasmine Ortega December 27, 2010 @ 2:46 pm

How do you stop jacob from attacking you? Throw a stick and yell fetch!

Comment by Twilight hater March 2, 2011 @ 5:56 pm


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